The Familiar

Charlie Beans and his toys, February 17, 2008

I've found myself falling into and out of a funk lately. Part of it, I think, is the weather. I like sunshine, I like snow, I even like rain (because everyone knows that there are few things more satisfying in this world than watching movies on a rainy day), but bitter, windy, freezing weather is one thing that I just don't like. Yuck. My grandmother might be on to something with the "Skip-the-Northeast-in-February-I'm-Going-to-Arizona" thing.

Part of my funkiness (and not the Rick James kind of funkiness, either) is due to a lack of seeing my family. I got to spend last weekend in Corning and I had a wonderful time. I cuddled with puppies, went to the movies with my sister, got lots of mommy hugs, visited some old friends from work, hung out with my brother, and even had time to eat lunch at En En with my parents (anyone from Corning knows of the pure deliciousness that is En En's Chinese Buffet...heaven). It felt so good to spend time with my family. Pittsburgh is 5 hours away-- the farthest distance I have ever lived away from home. For the love of Pete, I even miss Wegmans. Seriously, Giant Eagle is great and all, but nothing beats Weggies. But I digress. When I left Corning on Monday, I had that empty feeling in my chest, like the one you get when you break up with someone-- that hollow feeling that kind of hurts. I miss the familiar so much sometimes. I miss always knowing where I'm going when I'm driving, instead of having to Mapquest everything because there are approximately 72 bridges within a 1-mile radius of each other. I miss DRIVING at all and not taking public transit every day. I miss knowing that when my car breaks, my dad is always there to help. I miss seeing my mom when I want to. I miss wandering around on Market Street and I miss MY Barnes & Noble, where I have spent far too many hours of my life because I'm a book geek. I miss knowing that if I want to go out to dinner with someone, I can rely on two good choices-- Applebees and Olive Garden. I miss going to Doug and Gail's coffee shop. I miss knowing what to expect. Pittsburgh has been good to me, though-- it's just trying to find a compromise between all of the missing and all of the loving living here that's hard. But, as my dear friend Eddie Vedder sings,

"there's a sun around the bend."

PJ, Valentine's Day 2008

During some of my non-funkiness time, I had a great Valentine's Day. My sweet boyfriend made filet mignon for me, and as I am a girl who can put away her weight in steak, this was a FANTASTIC dinner choice. There were flowers and wine and a yummy dessert and he even bought "Across the Universe" for me, which I have been dying to see. All in all, a really great Valentine's Day. It was especially nice to get to spend the time together, since we've both been so busy lately and seem to have very opposing schedules.


And last, but not least...anyone who has seen our apartment has seen the giant greenhouse windows in our livingroom. When we first saw the apartment, we thought they were neat, something that set this apartment apart from the rest. However, we did not take into account our lack of funds at the time that we moved in, and as a result, we were forced to hang sheets, afghans, and wall hangings on the windows. But finally, FINALLY...right before Superbowl Sunday, we went to IKEA and we bought CURTAINS! This is typically not something that merits much excitement, but the fact that I can now use my purple afghan to cover myself with and not to prevent the neighbors from peeking into the apartment is a thing of beauty. Love it.

Our fun curtains!

Happy Fat Tuesday!

Hola and happy Mardi Gras to anyone lucky enough to enjoy it. I'll be attending a County Council Meeting this evening, and I'm fairly certain there will be no New Orleans-style celebration.

We had a fun beginning to the week-- a bunch of friends came over to watch the Superbowl on Sunday. Lots of food and drinks, and a pretty excited crowd after the Giants won! Now I have to admit, my loyalties lie with the Buffalo Bills and the Indianapolis Colts, but it was pretty exciting to see New England get shut down. It was especially fun to watch it with a group this year. In the past, I have typically only watched it with my family or one or two friends, but it was a lot of fun to have our first party (finally!) in the not-so-new apartment.

In other news...in an effort to push myself out of my box a little more (and to prevent myself from becoming a hermit at the tender age of 24), I've joined Pittsburgh Young Professionals, a networking organization for--you guessed it-- young professionals in our area. There's a new members' social this week and I have to admit, I'm a little nervous. Based on no amount of reason whatsoever, I sometimes still have those, "But what if no one likes me?" fears that most people have on their first day of kindergarten. I tend to feel that way around larger groups of people, especially when I don't know anyone. I'm always afraid that I won't know what to do or say, or that I'll just end up looking like a dork. Joining PYP will be a big step for me, I think-- not something that I would normally do unless a friend was joining with me. Hopefully, it'll be worth it!

Speaking of stepping out of my box, I've also been working on dealing with anxiety in different ways (other than my typical, the-sky-is-falling method of all-out emotional breakdowns when something unexpected happens). I am very happy to report that during the past couple of weeks, I have been dealing with things VERY well, to the point where I don't even recognize myself sometimes. In the past two weeks, I have had the joy of dealing with the following:

*Realizing that in order for my car to brake, I needed to press my foot all the way to the floor
*Receiving a call from VISA Fraud Prevention Services informing me that there was a suspicious charge on my credit card to a German Internet phone company (and then subsequently having to cancel my credit card the morning after I dropped my car off to get fixed)
*Putting a dent in the side of my car. With a concrete pillar.
*Being informed that my insurance company has me listed with a January 1, 1980 birthday...oh, right-- as a MALE with a January 1, 1980 birthday

..and a few little tidbits that I won't bore anyone with.

It was not so long ago that any of the above would have sent me into a tailspin. I have been working REALLY hard on figuring out new ways to deal with anxiety, though, and it finally feels like I'm starting to get a handle on it. Instead of freaking out as each thing happened, I did the "So what?" test-- for example...

The Germans took my money. So what?
So now I'll have to cancel my credit card. So what?
So now I won't be able to use it to pay for my car to get fixed. So what?
So I'll either use my debit or ask to use someone else's credit card for the repair. I'll call the credit union to get a dispute form and a new credit card. So what?
So my car will get paid for, I'll get my money back, and I'll have a new credit card. Oh.

And just like that-- crisis averted. Sweetness. Now I can even drive my car to Corning next weekend (dent and all) to visit my family, which I am SUPER excited about, because I haven't seen them since Christmas. And really, who wouldn't miss these faces--

The Boys, February 3, 2008